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Funny Jokes / Text Messages
Thousands of funny jokes! Blonde jokes, funny racist jokes, short funny jokes, really funny jokes, funny clean jokes yo mama jokes, redneck jokes, lawyer jokes, animal jokes, sports jokes, relationship jokes and more!
 

Once a girl askd her bf :

Why we have units to measure weight, height & distance but not love, friendship & trust?

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Boy thought for a while........

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Took her in his arms,
looked deep in her eyes & said ' Look Girl, DONT Eat my brain! I have already failed in Physics ' xP =P x"D

 

FACT of GOOGLE: . .
50% of the people use it well as a search engine..!!
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The other 50% of the people use it to check if their internet is connected or not!! ;)

 

Customer to waiter : Everyday you charge me money for a cup of coffee. How wonderful it would be if you serve me coffee free of cost today.... . . . . Waiter : . . . . Sir, everyday you drink coffee from a filled cup. How wonderful it would be if you drink from an empty cup today !! =P

 



Two girls were arguing when the teacher entered the room.

The teacher says,“Why are you arguing?”

One girl answers, “We found a ten dollar and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”

“You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher,”When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.”

The girls gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

 

Killing English

1. Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigarette... ? "

2. Class teacher once said :" pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"

3. once Hindi teacher said...."I'm going out of the world to America.."

4. "..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."

5. don't..laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down.....

6. It was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said " why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)

7. Teacher in a furious mood... write down ur name and father of ur name!!

8. "shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"

9. My manager started like this "Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"

10. "will u hang that calendar or else I'll HANG MYSELF"

11. LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"

12. Chemistry HOD comes and tells us... "My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"

13. Tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father

14. "why are you looking at the monkeys outside when I am in the class?!"

15. Lab assistant said this when my friend wrote wrong code.. "I understand. You understand. Computer how understand??

16. Seeing the principal passing by, the teacher told the noisy class.. "Keep quiet, the principal has passed away"

17. Once Teacher Told "If u Talk So Loudly I Will Stand Uping U"

18. teacher to students:don't spit outside, the understanding people will suffer

19. i have 3 daughters, all are girl

 

life before computer
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Window was a square hole in a room
Application was somethong written in paper
Mouse was an animal
Keyboaed was a piano
File was an important office material
Hard drive was an uncomfortable road trip
Cut was done with knife and paste with glue.
Web was a spider's home....
But now......

 

The 3 most common lies on the internet :

¤ I have read and agreed to the terms of service :P

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¤ Status : Offline =P

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¤ Yes, Iam over 18 xP


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‎5 missed calls from your mate, you missed a bachelor party last night.

5 missed calls from your best friend, they want to hang out.

5 missed calls from your girlfriend, she wants to talk.

5 missed calls from your Mum, YOU ARE SCREWED!!!

 

Attachment is not when two people chat Day & Night.
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Its when someone E-mails U and Adds an Image or Data File with it. That File is Called Attachment. . . ;->

Jano aur Jantay Raho... =P

 

Bitter Truth ...

"If money ever grew on trees. . .
Girl's would'nt mind dating with monkeys"
Very true... =P <-;

 



 
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